I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
