your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
