I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
