why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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