So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
