I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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