I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
