Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
