you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
