No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
