We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
That's intense
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize