my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
