no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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