Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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