Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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