DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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