ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
