is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
