I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize