You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
