I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Girls should come with a carfax report
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
