it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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