fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
