If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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