I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
