My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I am midnight drunk by noon
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
