you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
