i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
