I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
