Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
