you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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