I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
