Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You made out with two different species that night
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
