Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
