Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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