Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
