New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize