woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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