Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
