Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
