White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
