you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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