You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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