my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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