Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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