No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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