Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
