that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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