I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
