Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
how does that bad decision feel?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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