yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize