She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
