I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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