My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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