They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
