I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
