I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So I just went to clothing optional bar
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
