Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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