We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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