you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize