Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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