They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
