Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
