wrigley field is MILF paradise
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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