let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
