no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
