so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
