We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
