Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
